Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Five Love Languages

With being a "wedding novelist" it's no wonder that I often find myself thinking about love lately - not to mention the fact that my uncle getting married this past week end.

The question that comes up most often is how can one show love?

One of my friends was mentioning the five love languages a few weeks ago, which got me thinking about that. For those of you who don't know the five love languages are as follows:

Words of affirmation,
Quality time,
Receiving gifts,
Acts of service,
and Physical touch.

She said that she thinks that can sometimes cause problems - people show love in different ways, and their loved ones don't always have the same love language, so they don't always feel loved (if that makes sense).

This would make sense, I thought, and when my friend said that her love language was quality time I instantly saw a flashback of all the times I had texted her while watching TV and not really been in the conversation. I hadn't meant to be rude or insensitive - my love language is words of affirmation, and was constantly making sure to tell my friend how much I appreciated and loved her. However, when I found out her love language I started making a conscious effort to give her my full attention when we talked, and to spend lots of time with her. I wanted to make sure she realized how much I love her.

This past week she got to come for a visit, and we watched part of The Lord of the Rings almost every night. This is my friends favorite movie, and so I wanted watched it with her even though it isn't my favorite movie in the world.

Well she went back home last night, and when we were texting today our movie choices while she was here came up. I told her that I hadn't minded not watching Persuasion because she was the guest and because I knew how much it meant to her - I also mentioned that I had been trying to show her I loved her through her love language. Well, she really liked that, and told me that she had noticed that I had been more "always there when she needed someone," and that totally made my day (see, I'm easilly satisfied!).

I'm not sure exactly why I started posting about this - I just felt the need to talk about it - but now that I'm finishing up I do see a point behind this story. We could all use to think about our loved ones love languages and what they'll like a little more - a way to show them we love them by doing what they'll really apriciate.

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